This SnapStory1000 features some decidedly coarse language. If such stuff offends you, I would advise the reader not to read this one. Also, this story happens to feature Gun Caliber, a character created by my friend Bueno. Gun Caliber is the property of Garage Productions and I’m sure he will take no offense to my use of his character for a silly little juant.
The girl walked on like she didn’t understand. In a sense, she didn’t, but this wasn’t the time to ask questions about why strange men in beat-up armor and holding a gun in each hand were standing by a beach. These things don’t happen and when they do it’s best to not think too hard about it. She’d seen enough of those fools in Tokyo and she didn’t need it invading her town. Amusing enough at a distance but kind of scary up-close.
“Hey. Where you walking?”
Gun Caliber, evil’s Dionysian foe, had just wrapped up his latest round of training, which included a strenuous routine of kicking water bottles, drinking cans and bottles of beer and shooting said bottles and cans. Not necessarily in the order. In any case, the best way to cap off a good workout is a good woman. This one would suffice, given the choice between this fine lass or the fuckin’ eldery men and women waddling down his fuckin’ pavement and the fuckin’ kids who won’t stop gawking at him when he’s trying to fuckin’ concentrate on getting his shit right.
“Hey. What’s your name?”
The pretext of ignorance was gone. Now, the crazy man in the weird suit had a target to his cries and, honestly, she wished that it was with his guns and not his words.
It wasn’t the first time she been called out. There was also that one AV scout in Harajuku that one time. Why her though? She wasn’t exactly the type you’d put in a magazine, let alone in the nude. Maybe that guy was just desperate to get anyone so his bosses wouldn’t get pissed off. She’d just walked away that time.
However, that suit did have just a bit of allure.
“Uhh..who are you?”
He started to approach the girl. He always used the same line. Hit or miss, doesn’t matter. If the bitches liked it then great. If they ran away, they could just fuck off and suck his hairy nutsack. Not necessarily in that order.
“Gun Caliber. You heard of me?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t say I watch sentai…”
“FUCKING HELL, does this armor look like spandex to you!? Those little bitches ain’t got nothing on me.”
If it had been a man he was talking to, he would’ve added the line “Except those pink ranger bitches. Yeah, they got it all on me, or should I say, I get it all on them?”
Even without that extra line, she looked in dumbstruck disbelief at him.
“Anyways…what’s your name?”
She didn’t see the harm. “Uhh…Akiko.”
“Akiko? Nice name. What’re you doing now?”
“Just…seeing the ocean.”
“Can you take it off?”
“Your mask. You take yours off and I’ll take off mine.”
The ocean rolled in and out as Akiko pondered what to do. It was almost as if under some spell. How much weirder could this possibly get? Figuring she might as well twist the blade, she removed her surgical mask. Her face felt a sudden refreshing chill from the breeze running over her plain features. She hadn’t bothered to put make-up on that day. It was supposed to be for herself.
He took his off. Underneath was a balding Asian man with a pair of oversized spectacles. He believed he was half-Japanese – after all, why would he be here all this time and speak fluent Osaka-ben? That was a story for another time though.
“You’re pretty cute, Akiko.”
“Umm… I think I’ll be leaving now. I’m sorry. Please..uhh… take care okay?”
Without saying an extra word, she put her mask back on and walked away as fast as she could without breaking into a run. This was just supposed a relaxed day of contemplation and sight-seeing just before entering her first day at university. Not an encounter with people thinking Halloween is in December.
Gun Caliber put his mask back on and drew out his guns. Workout wasn’t quite finished.
She could just suck his hairy nutsack and fuck off.